A Path I've Traveled Before
by TheLegalAssassin
Summary: Fenris wakes up in a cell with a strange mark on his hand, swords pointed at him, and no memory of what came before. While he aids the Inquisition in saving the world, he unravels the mystery of his past and his relationship to one Irial Hawke. M!Mage HawkeXFenris


**Title:** A Path I've Traveled Before

 **Author:** TheLegalAssassin

 **Summary:** Fenris wakes up in a cell with a strange mark on his hand, swords pointed at him, and no memory of what came before. While he aids the Inquisition in saving the world, he unravels the mystery of his past and his relationship to one Irial Hawke.

 **Pairing(s):** FenrisXM!Mage!Hawke

 **Warning(s):** The usual from the Dragon Age universe. Specifics will come as the story continues.

 **AN:** Inspired by a request on the kink meme asking for Inquisitor!Fenris with a twist: he doesn't remember anything from before the explosion at the Conclave, including a relationship with M!Hawke. The moment I saw this I went "I want this so badly!" and then thought "I could write this." So yeah, expect a lot of angst.

Also, a bit of a warning: the first two or three chapters are recap-heavy. I really want to explore "Fenris with amnesia," so there'll be plenty of focus on the main story. But once these are done and out of the way, there'll be a lot more original material. I'm also alternating between this and other fics, one of which will be up shortly after this. Don't worry; they're short. The other fic is six short chapters and afterwards it'll be a bunch of one-shots, mainly featuring Fenris and Irial Hawke.

Enjoy!

* * *

 **A Blank Slate**

He woke in the dark, green sparks and flashes occasionally illuminating the area, his skin stinging and burning despite the biting cold air around him. Fragments of a dream – _running through a black and desolate landscape, humanoid figures with featureless faces save for gaping black holes crawling after him at a too-quick pace, a woman made of fire and light holding a hand out to him that was only a few inches shy of his hand_ – slowly resurfaced in his mind. Was it a dream? It felt real, yet he knew the landscape was too unnatural to be anything other than the Fade.

And where was he? Though it was dark, a faint glow surrounding him helped him make out a few details. He was in a room that looked like a prison cell, on his knees and his hands locked together with heavy manacles, and surrounded by four armored men with swords unsheathed and pointed at him.

Truly, he must have been blessed with luck.

What did he do to get here? He thought back to what happened before he fell asleep or unconscious and remembered

Nothing.

Nothing of what happened before. Nothing of his life. Nothing of his identity. It was like his mind was wiped clean.

There was another flash of green light and it took him a moment to register that it was coming from one of his bound hands. He turned it over and, as if on cue, it flashed. He gasped as a wave of pain surged through his body.

The creak of iron hinges and sunlight flooding into the room drew his attention to the front. Two women entered as the guards sheathed their blades. The first woman was clearly a warrior, from her dark armor with a stylized eye on the front, to the scar down her jaw, to the shield strapped to her back and the sword at her side, and to the hard look in her eyes. The other was harder to place. While she had the same symbol on her armor, it was lighter in both weight and color than her companion's and a hood hid most of her face, save for red hair peeking out from underneath.

The warrior walked behind him. Hot breath tickled his cheek and ear as she spoke with a heavy accent he couldn't place. "Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now." She stood straight and circled him. "The Conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead." Barely contained grief filled her words. She then glared at him. "Except for you."

"Do you think I would do such a thing? I'm not…" he asked on instinct. Yet even as he spoke, doubt filled his mind. He didn't know who he was, didn't know what the warrior was talking about, didn't even have a memory to assure himself he wasn't the one responsible.

The warrior's only response to his words was to snatch his hand and hold it up, green light from what he could only describe as a scar or cut shining in his face. "Then explain this." She demanded.

"I… can't…"

"What do you mean, you can't?" Her voice rose and she scowled.

"I don't know what this thing is or how it got there!" He snapped.

"You're lying!" The warrior grabbed the front of his clothing and armor. At that moment, a blue glow surrounded him and his skin felt like thousands of insects were crawling under it. And a strange buzzing song, one that couldn't be made by mortal voice or hands, filled his head. Under it, he heard the guards drawing their weapons.

"Cassandra, stop! We need him!" The redheaded woman grabbed her companion's shoulder and pulled her off of him. "Everyone put their weapons down. And Fenris," She looked over at him, "Deactivate your markings. Now."

He wasn't sure how, but as he relaxed his tense body the song vanished and the glow dimmed until it was faint again. At that moment, he realized the glow was coming from him, or at least from the scrolling lines on his skin that shone through his dark clothing and armor. Once he was no longer lit up, the guards put their weapons away. "What you called me just now… is that my name?" he asked.

The redhead frowned. "Do you not remember?"

"I can't remember anything about myself or my past." He said. "All I can recall is running and… things attacking me. And… a woman?"

Her eyebrows rose. "A woman?"

"She reached out to me. And then…" He shook his head. "I woke up here. That was all. I know nothing else, I'm afraid."

The redhead looked at Cassandra. "What do you think?" she asked.

Cassandra shook her head. "From the description given of him, he doesn't seem the kind of man who would lie." She said, calmer now. "Perhaps the explosion…" she stopped, then sighed. "We shall find out more later. Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I'll take him there."

As Leliana nodded and left them, Cassandra knelt down and undid his manacles before using a length of rope to tie them together. "If you still remember how to use your abilities, I would recommend not using them on this." She said. "Whether you believe me or not, this is for your protection."

"Protection against what?" Fenris asked. "What happened?"

Cassandra pulled him to his feet. "It would better if I showed you." She placed one hand on his shoulder and pushed him just enough to have him walk forward until they left the cell and stepped outside.

The first thing that hit Fenris was the cold. Even through his thick garments and the armor over them, he could feel the chill in the air. Snow blanketed the ground and snowflakes fluttered around in the air as soldiers scrambled around. Amidst the wooden buildings were tents that seemed to have been set up in a hurry. It looked like he was somewhere in the mountains. Perhaps somewhere in the south... The Frostback Mountains, maybe? That was the only name that came to mind and it seemed the most likely.

Strange, how he could recall these facts but not anything about himself.

A flicker of light drew his attention upward. Although it was clearly daytime, the sky was mostly hidden by dark clouds. Above a mountain peak in the distance was a long, jagged hole like someone had cut through the sky. It glowed bright green and bits of it rained down onto the earth periodically.

It also looked almost exactly like the mark on his hand.

"We call it the Breach." Cassandra explained as Fenris stared up. "It's a massive Rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour. It's not the only such rift. Just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the Conclave."

"An explosion could do this?" Fenris asked in disbelief. He knew mages were capable of such things, that they could make tears in the Veil dividing this world from the Fade. But that was almost never noticeable to the naked eye. Certainly never something on this scale.

"This one did." Cassandra said. "And unless we act, it may grow until it swallows the world."

As though reacting to her words, the Breach pulsed and widened. At the same time, the mark on Fenris's hand flashed and grew. He yelped and fell to his knees as he felt a sensation like his skin was being drawn towards – being sucked into – the mark. It felt like ages before the feeling passed. Once it did, Cassandra continued speaking to him. "Each time the Breach expands, your mark spreads… and it is killing you." She helped him up. "It may be the key to stopping this, but there isn't much time."

"And you still think I would do this to myself?" Fenris asked.

"Perhaps not intentionally. Something clearly went wrong." Cassandra then sighed. "In all honesty, I'm not entirely convinced that you were the culprit. From what I've heard of you, you wouldn't involve yourself, especially not like this. But you are still our only suspect at the moment. So if you wish to prove your innocence, then this is the only way."

Fenris wanted to protest, to say he wasn't responsible. But with no memory to either confirm or deny his part in this incident, he couldn't. And Cassandra made a valid point; what if he did cause this, but didn't expect it to backfire? Whoever he was before was a complete stranger, after all.

So instead he sighed and said "Very well."

Cassandra looked at him with a glimmer of respect in her eyes. "Then you will…?" She trailed off.

"I will help you. There is little point in proving my innocence if I'm killed, whether by this mark or by the demons coming out, anyways." Fenris's eyes met hers. "Lead the way."

Hand on his back, Cassandra led him down the path and through the village. A throng of people gathered at the sides. Many were dressed in simple garb – villagers - while a few were armored or wore the vestments of the Chantry. As the two passed through, some murmured amongst themselves. Many glared at Fenris with accusation and hate. It was then that he realized what Cassandra meant when she said the rope binding his wrists were for his safety; were he to walk freely rather than as a prisoner, whatever was holding the crowd back from outright attacking him may not have been enough.

"They have decided your guilt. They need it. And your involvement with the Champion and the events at Kirkwall, no matter your intentions, has only convinced them of your guilt." Cassandra told him. "The people of Haven mourn our most Holy, Divine Justinia, head of the Chantry. The Conclave was hers. It was a chance for peace between mages and Templars. She brought their leaders together. Now, they are dead." The same grief from before resurfaced as they left the village behind and went through the woods towards a gatehouse.

Strangely, what Cassandra described was something Fenris could remember. He knew about the conflict between the two factions and that something had happened in Kirkwall had set it off. That he was somehow involved, however, was unfamiliar to him. "What did you mean about my involvement?" he asked.

"You were one of the Champion of Kirkwall's associates. When he sided with the mages at the Gallows, you followed him into battle." Cassandra explained. "Many believe that he was the one who started the war in the first place. It is more complicated than that, but they do not know the truth."

"And that is why they believe I'm the culprit." He said.

"It is."

The doors of the gates open and Cassandra led him through them, still speaking. "Although we lash out, like the sky, we must think beyond ourselves. As the Divine did. Until the Breach is sealed." Cassandra turned, pulled out a knife, and cut through his bindings. "There will be a trial. I can promise no more. First, your mark must be tested on something smaller than the Breach." Cassandra said before giving an order for the gates to be opened.

On the other side was a winding path through the valley. They passed barricades set up along the path and burning carts further down. They were crossing a second bridge towards the valley when the Breach and Fenris's mark pulsed again, sending him to his knees.

"The pulses are coming faster now." Cassandra observed as she helped him up again. "The larger the Breach grows, the more rifts appear, the more demons we face…" She frowned. "Even if the Breach stops growing, the demons—"

One of the falling pieces from the Breach struck the bridge before them. The stone crumbled beneath their feet and sent them tumbling down into the ditch below.

Fenris grunted as he hit the rocks and rolled down onto the frozen river. He was getting back on his feet, shaking off the pain from the tumble, when another piece from the Breach crashed a few feet away from where he and Cassandra landed. The ground glowed as a shade rose up.

Cassandra pushed him back while grabbing her shield off her back. "Stay behind me!" She ordered before charging at the demon.

As Fenris backed towards the debris, another shade appeared in front of him. Cassandra, who was still busy with the first shade, didn't notice. He looked around for something to fight it off with, but could only find a two-handed sword propped up against a crate. The sword looked too heavy for him to lift, let alone wield. _Well_ , he thought as he glanced over at the advancing shade, _it's better than nothing, at least_.

Fenris lunged to the side, grabbed the sword, and hefted it just as the shade's claws came down towards him. Pivoting around, he lifted his weapon and blocked the attack with the blade. The action was easier than he expected. Emboldened, he shoved back against the shade until it staggered back. Then he lifted his sword and cleaved through the shade before it could recover, dark blood splattering over his front.

So he had experience with the one weapon he could find. At least he had some decent luck.

The shade attacking him was killed just as Cassandra stabbed the other shade through its eye. She turned around as Fenris approached, looking at the blood stains with a quizzical expression which hardened when she spotted the sword in his hand. "Drop your weapon." She ordered. "Now." She pointed her sword at him as emphasis.

"A demon attacked me." He protested. "What was I supposed to do? Let it kill me?"

"You don't need to fight." Cassandra argued.

Fenris snorted. "And I suppose you're not going to let it happen again?"

The two glared at each other for a moment. Then, Cassandra sighed and sheathed her sword. "You're right. I cannot protect you, and I cannot expect you to remain helpless the entire way." She took a few steps forward, stopped, and turned around to face Fenris. "I should remember that you did not attempt to run."

She waited while Fenris grabbed the baldric the sword came with, strapped it on, and sheathed his new sword. Then, they continued up the path, cutting through the shades and wraiths that got in the way, until they reached the base of the hill. "There's a rift up there." Cassandra pointed to the top, where shouts and the sound of clanging of steel traveled down. "A few soldiers are guarding it, but they won't be able to stand against the demons for long."

"Aren't there more men?" Fenris asked.

"They are at the forward camp, preparing an assault on the Breach." Cassandra explained as they climbed up the hill.

As expected, a battle raged at the top. A smaller copy of the Breach in the sky was situated in the middle of the area. The bodies of soldiers were strewn around, their living comrades maneuvering around them. Along with the living soldiers were two people who seemed out of place. One was a bald elf dressed in patchwork garments, swinging his staff around and firing bolts of energy at the demons with a concentrated expression. The other was a dwarf in a leather duster, firing at demons with a crossbow he didn't seem to be reloading.

"We need to clear these demons out first!" Cassandra shouted before she charged in and bashed the nearest demon with her shield before slicing through it.

Fenris followed after her, making sure no one was in the way before cutting through two demons. From there, he fell into an oddly familiar pattern, like he had done this sort of thing before. Then again, Cassandra had mentioned before that he fought alongside the Champion of Kirkwall. It was yet another piece to the puzzle concerning him, one he would have to solve once the threat of death was gone.

Once the demons were cleared out, the bald elf grabbed Fenris's wrist. "Quickly, before more come through!" He yanked Fenris's hand up, palm facing the rift. Green lightning shot from his hand into the rift. Something like static traveled down Fenris's arm, a strange but painless sensation. The rift condensed and shrunk before imploding, leaving nothing behind.

Fenris stared at the empty space the rift once occupied, than at the elf. "What did you just do?" he asked. Something about the elf unsettled him. Perhaps it was because he was a mage? There was certainly good reason to not fully trust magic or those who used it, but some part of his mind kept telling him to be on guard.

The elf smiled, though it did nothing to alleviate Fenris's wariness. "I did nothing. The credit is yours."

"You mean this?" Fenris held up his hand.

"Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand." The elf said. "I theorized that it might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach's wake. And it seems I was correct."

"Then it could also close the Breach itself." Cassandra said with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"Possibly." The elf agreed. He looked over at Fenris. "It seems you hold the key to our salvation."

"Good to know! Here I thought we'd be ass-deep in demons forever." The dwarf collapsed his crossbow and wiped the little drops of blood off his duster. He grinned at Fenris. "Glad to see you're still alive and kicking, elf. You had me worried there when you came out of that rift."

Fenris glanced over at the bald elf, but he didn't seem to react to the dwarf's words. "Are you speaking about me?" he asked.

"Of course I am. That's what I always called you. Or did you hit your head while falling out of the Fade?"

"That may be possible. I can't remember anything."

The dwarf's grin slipped. "You're kidding, right?" He shook his head before Fenris could answer. "No, this isn't the kind of joke you'd make. On the occasions when you stopped brooding and made one, anyways." He then let out a sigh. "Well, I imagine you have a lot of questions, but for now let's get introductions out of the way so we can close up the giant hole in the sky and not worry about imminent death. Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong." He smirked and winked at Cassandra, who just scowled at him.

"So I take it you're going to come along?" Fenris asked.

"Considering that the demons raining down is a bit of a concern at the moment, yes. Bianca and I will be great company in the valley." Varric smiled fondly at the crossbow on his back, causing Fenris to raise an eyebrow. Before he could ask anything more, Cassandra interrupted.

"Absolutely not. Your help is appreciated, Varric, but…"

"Have you been in the valley lately, Seeker? Your soldiers aren't in control anymore. You need me, and all the help you can get." Despite the situation, the smirk lingered on the corner of Varric's mouth.

Cassandra made a noise like she swallowed something disgusting and stomped off.

The bald elf stepped forward. "My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I am pleased to see you still live."

"He means, 'I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.'" Varric added.

"You know a great deal about this, then?" Fenris held up the hand with the mark.

"Solas is an apostate." Cassandra explained. "And, apparently, well-versed in such matters."

"Technically, all mages are apostates now, Cassandra." Solas corrected. He turned back to Fenris. "My travels have allowed me to learn much about the Fade, far beyond the experience of any Circle mage. I came to offer whatever help I can give with the Breach. If it remains unclosed, it will doom us all regardless of origin."

"Then what are we waiting here for?" Fenris glanced between the mark and the Breach. "We should move on now that we know this mark could close it." Whatever his feelings were towards the mage, even if he couldn't figure out why something in his mind kept urging him not to trust Solas,

"A sensible attitude." Solas commented. "Though we seem to be short of sense at the moment." He turned to Cassandra. "Cassandra, you should know that the magic responsible for all of this is unlike any I've seen before. I can't even imagine any mage having such power."

Cassandra nodded. "Understood. Then we must get to the forward camp quickly." She and Solas continued on ahead.

Varric stepped next to Fenris. "Well… Bianca's excited. Demons, world in peril... Just like old times, right?"

"I don't know." Fenris said. "Was this a regular occurance?"

"We'll talk after we take care of the giant hole in the sky, elf. Think of it as incentive to survive." Varric followed after Solas and Cassandra.

Fenris huffed. "As if I don't have enough of it already." He muttered before following after them into the valley.

* * *

 **AN:** Next chapter will wrap up "The Wrath of Heaven" part of the quest. See you then!


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